Recorded on 21 March 2026 with worldwide participants
0:00 Intro
0:07 What were the characteristics that Babaji’s parents demonstrated that helped impact the development of His character?
7:57 Innate characteristics of Babaji’s personality as a young boy that were unusual compared to those around Him?
13:24 After Babaji first heard the song ‘Bhaja Govindam’, would the people around him have noticed a change in His behaviour or temperament?
19:43 What was the attraction that Babaji had to the Hanuman temple near His home?
37:18 How Babaji came to enter Swamiji’s service after waiting for 3 years.
46:16 Stories that there are other lokas where you can achieve god realisation.
49:42 How to get over the fear that one will be reborn into the world again.
52:59 If we want Self Realization will we all have to do Tapas for many years?
55:39 How should one look at an appearance of either Swamiji or Babaji in a dream?
56:52 For Babaji, what kind of association is there to the memories of early life, considering that no ego is now left?
59:14 During Babaji’s 5 year Tapas, did Babaji stretch out His legs, changing posture?
59:53 An experience of hearing a heavenly voice chanting ‘narayana’ – what was that?
1:01:11 Why did Babaji seek a Guru and not god?
1:02:13 The difference between a devotee and merging with the Self.
1:03:09 The worry that moving the eyes to the centre and meditating is unsafe for people who are impure.
1:05:25 In meditation, how to go beyond the witness, the observer.
1:06:04 How to overcome past sing and guilt?
1:07:22 Who was Swamiji’s master?
Discourse: In Quest of Truth – online Q&A no.265
Babaji’s Life Story
YouTube Link: https://youtu.be/fkw2TK7mwMc
Recorded: 21 March 2026
Start of Questions and Answers
Question: Baba has often talked about how we can be very fortunate. One of the first good fortunes that occurs in our life is the parents to whom we’re born. Could Babaji please speak about the characteristics that His parents demonstrated, which were a blessing and helped in impacting His development as His character?
Babaji Maharaj: You are true, definitely. Parents are the first guardians when one is born in this world, taking a physical body; like here, a human body has been obtained. So, they are the ones, first, who take care. And from them only a child gets to listen something, pick up some words and gradually observe, slowly observe their behavior. All these things happen. Thus, I was very fortunate. Our parents were very pious.
Father, we saw him upholding very human values, a very honest person. He was a physician having a clinic. So, as a child, I saw him never demanding money. He used to give an injection; if a patient said, “I don’t have money, I will bring some other time.” “Okay, you go, no problem. Next time you come.” So, like that was the type and that was a different era of doctors; we used to consider a noble profession. Even in the midnight hours if somebody called, they used to take a bicycle and go to attend the patient. There was no question of “Today, we are not coming; morning, you go to see somebody else.” That type of things were not there. For a physician, bicycle was their chariot. So, they used to take and go. So, thus, I saw him. Spiritually, what I remember as a child is, he bought Venkateshwara Suprabhatam, a chant on Venkateshwara; early morning chant. He bought one-one book for all of us siblings and gifted it to us. So, that was the type of gifts he used to give. And he used to tell, “Education is the only property I’m going to give you all; need to get educated properly so that you can be a better human being always.” So, these were the early days I used to hear.
Mother taught me better bhakti, not of orthodox, but a moderate; I could even tell as a scientific – going for the existence value. One day when I was reading that Suprabhatam chant, my father also had a shower, he came. I was very small probably. But this sentence I remember; “Hey apply your mind, and then chant. Don’t allow it to run away here and there.” I did it, but at that time I didn’t know the meaning of faith or applying the mind, all these things. Later in our life, when we learned in the bhakthi marga how vital it is having faith and applying the mind, concentration, focused mind, all these things we learned. Mother used to tell, always in every religion there are two sets of teachers. One could be the saint class, another could be just the scholars or priest class, who might interpret to their convenience many things, try to create fear unnecessarily. But the saint class, they talk the truth, whatever they would have experienced about God. So, those things. “So, you must follow the saint-teachers.” So, that was how we were brought up.
Later in the year when I needed to go to my Master when I met Him, Swamiji – I was fifteen years-old. So, I spoke to mother for a couple of hours trying to convince her, “You have looked after all these years and you have trained us; let me go to my Master.” All she wanted to know was whether my wanting to go to Swamiji is only a temporary passion, excitement or is it a permanent thing; that thing she wanted to know. Means she believed in this thing, “Once you step into the path, do not look back, must not run away, come back;” that type of things. So, that’s why she told me after long time. Even she asked me, “How do you know whether your Guru is a genuine yogi or what He is?” I simply told “Whether He is a good man or a bad man, I don’t know, whether a yogi, I don’t know. What I know is I have fallen in love with Him, I will not regret.”
So, these types of things we learnt from her. And that was what – she didn’t cry, she didn’t get frightened, she didn’t say, “No, you are my child, I cannot send you like that one.” She thought it is a good path, “If you are really determined, then I can bless and send you.” For that she said, “Wait for three more years. Complete your education in these three years also. After that also, if your mind is unwavering on this path, that you want to go to the ashram and live with your Master, then I will bless and send you. But once you go, I don’t want you to come back without achieving. Take His permission to come to meet me, otherwise you should not run away.” I also told, “Okay, I promise. Unless He Himself kicks me out, I won’t run away from Him. Whatever else He does is no problem, He scolds me, beats me, anything, I can bear and I will go along, even any humiliation, anything I will bear and I will never look back, I will not give up this path.”
So, like that she was so morally supportive, very much and all the time she used to write. Those were the days of letters. We didn’t have the cell phones or emails, etc. Every fifteen days she used to write a letter and encouraging me, “Hope you are doing well. Only whenever Swamiji permits, then you come. Don’t be too adamant with Him. If He says no, it may be some reason and you wait for some other opportunity,” like that she used to advise me always. Very strong lady. Though soft spoken from outside, from inside she was very strong.
So, these are some of the things I could recollect that we learned from her and fortunate we were. We never saw any bad habit in our father, not even smoking, nothing, no alcohol, nothing; he was very strict teetotaler and disciplined person. That type we saw him. So, that was my fortune, I think.
Question: Thank You, Baba. Babaji, remembering back if Baba can when He was a small child, perhaps before He was even five or six, were there any innate characteristics of Babaji’s personality, which He thinks was unusual compared to others around Him?
Babaji Maharaj: Maybe after five or six, between six and eight years old only, these thoughts started coming, not before that; I don’t remember, probably too early. So, at that time only, peculiarly I used to feel restless at the sight of this world, means, I used to feel as if I come to the place where I don’t belong to. And then a peculiar thing, the restlessness, what thought used to come – this may appear very funny, that was how it came at that age for me. “If there is any button through which we can press and just switch off this entire universe;” that thought gave me very peace. But at that time, I didn’t know why it was, I didn’t know anything much about spirituality, why it was. Simply felt like that one. More than that, I could not explain, I could not express to anybody else, I used to feel this one. Some pain used to be there as if I am missing something, I have come to somewhere, this one.
Then around seven, eight-year-old, probably even after I heard the Bhaja Govindam song from my sister, which I became obsessed to know the death, who is going to die, what will happen when death happens, that type of thing, and that this world is impermanent. That was what the line saying, “When the time comes for this body to go, none of your worldly wealth or power, anything, nothing cannot come to your rescue. So, remember the Divinity.” That is the main basic theme of the song, telling that “Again and again you are born again and again you feel you are dying.” Those great teachers like Adi Shankara have compared this world to a crocodile. Today’s people may not accept, many people, there is moderate teaching, but they used to be very blunt and straight forward. So, they have spoken like that one.
After that, this thing also came; happiness. Happiness was another thing which bothered me. If there is happiness, it should be there at all times, twenty-four hours, twelve months. Why the fluctuation? Sometimes an unknown excitement happens. I feel I am very happy, I am looking forward for something. But sometimes I feel an unknown fear or very unhappiness. Why this fluctuation? Is there something wrong in me or something wrong in the world? Where is the mistake? That type of thing used to occur to me.
So, these things led me towards spirituality, wanting to know the truth and after the Bhaja Govindam song, one prayer particularly I used to do was, “Bless me to have a Guru who would have liberated Himself and who can lead me to liberation.” This liberation, I felt there is something that is binding me, need to get liberated. Didn’t know much about Self-realization. At that age did not think about Self-realization, that I want that, but some liberation idea was there. Something that is binding, which is giving me unhappiness or some unknown fear, some pain. So, that liberation I wanted. That’s how I used to pray for; “The one who would have liberated Himself and who can lead me to liberation.” That was one basic prayer I always did.
Of course, apart from that, so many other things – we used to pray any smaller thing whenever a fear occurred, “O, this should be all right. Such a thing must not happen. All our kith and kin like siblings, everybody should be all right. No untoward things should happen.” Like this. But one conviction about devotional path; we never disliked the Divine, never complained about the Divine that the prayers were not answered, never tried to belittle the Divine or never let go the devotion or faith. What I used to think was, “Though I wanted this to happen, I prayed to God, yet if it has not happened, maybe it is for some good I may not know now. The Divine always does good to me.” That faith was firm there. So that type of prayers I used to do. So, apart from the wanting the Guru of a liberated nature. So those were some of the points that we remember as a child.
Question: Thank You, Babaji. After Babaji had heard Bhaja Govindam, would the people around Him have noticed any changes in His behavior or His temperament? Or did He just still look like a normal boy?
Babaji Maharaj: No, I don’t think so. Because I was a normal boy. As it is, I was not very talkative. I made very few friends. They would have thought me quite a shy nature, everybody would have thought. That was the thing. Either they would call such a person as a very reserved, or they would call he is very shy in nature, won’t talk. I was neither reserved, and the shyness was not there because the topic used to be different; always about the worldly topic I never felt like talking. If anybody had spoken about God, then I would have spoken. But such a thing hardly happened anytime. The friends circles also, nobody noticed. One or two simply appreciated, “Maybe you are something higher than us,” one friend I remember having commented during high school days. Other than that, nothing much would have been noticed because I didn’t behave very abnormally. I was very calm, composed. Quietly within the mind this churning was happening. I didn’t show or I didn’t express. I didn’t know what to express at all also.
People knew that I was very devotional person. For that, the people in the society called God-fearing person, loved visiting temples always in a weekday. “Today is this God; today another God.” And about Gods also, there was no such thing as the different gods. We went to all different forms, worshipped, we went to temples of Shiva, Ganesha, Krishna or any such thing; I never felt anything that is different. Because that one, mother used to tell, “God is one. He has so many forms. You must not differentiate.” So that’s how we learned. And in Adi Shankara’s teachings also slowly, little-little.
Those days, once my elder brother had brought small books published by Ramakrishna Mutt, Thus Spake series, ‘Thus Spake Ramakrishna,’ ‘Thus Spake Sharada Devi’ and ‘Thus Spake Adi Shankara,’ ‘Thus Spake Krishna,’ ‘Thus Spake Buddha’ type of thing, epitomized but very valuable thing which sat in our mind. Those I read, definitely. That was the small scripture I remember having read. Not big scriptures or big teachings; did not go very deeply. That was the thing which gave me a deep insight into the actual devotional path and to have faith. I never complained about the Divine. Always accept that “There must be something wrong in me only if the prayer has not been answered. It must be for my benefit or probably I did not pray with full focus probably,” this type I used to take it on me only in that small age also. Never complained “God is not kind, God is not doing this to me, I don’t want to believe God.” Such things never occurred. We always had [inaudible] self-respect. I’m going to have faith means this is the faith.
Just to recall about faith, telling when I was ten, eleven years old, in those days a certain saint, would be called as a godman usually, He became very popular in southern part of India. And I just bought a photo that was available in the market, brought and kept in our altar. Then a lot of both type of things were there. Some propaganda news used to come. He is a fraud. He has been arrested by police. This type of thing. And what he does is not all wrong things. And some said, “No, he is good, he teaches bhakti marga.” Like this. But my uncle’s son had come and spoken to my mother, “This photo needs to be thrown out. You should not keep. This is very bad.” Then mother was a little bit worried. When I came from the school, she told, “This thing should we keep, or you won’t mind if I take it out?” I said, “Mother, don’t remove it, please. Whatever that person, that saint, that godman is, I don’t mind. I have nothing to bother. This photo is my faith. I don’t want to allow that faith to be disturbed. Then God will help me always. I don’t want to bother what they are talking. Let them talk. Even if police have arrested, he has gone anything, this photo is my faith. I want to keep it. This is my self-respect. No need to remove. We’ll keep it.” So, like that, I told.
That conviction was there about faith, devotion. It is our thing. Like now also I tell for many people, students who come, you see, in this body or this body as ‘I’ is not that important. Your own faith and devotion is what matters. If you lose that faith… Swamiji also used to tell, “You lose anything, but do not ever lose faith.” So, like that is how we also teach. Should not lose faith. That can take care of you. That can protect you. The Divine will take care of you. That faith. So, like that, this was a basic, a little bit about my childhood thinking that was churning within my mind. Hardly anybody would have noticed, because I never expressed it to anybody. At that time I didn’t know what was happening to me also.
Question: Thank You, Babaji. Babaji has mentioned in the past how He was very drawn to the Hanuman temple, which was near His childhood home. Could Babaji please speak about the attraction He seemed to experience to the temple, and what He used to do when He went there?
Babaji Maharaj: Though Hanuman was such a character that we all heard from Ramayana, that said His celibacy, brahmacharya what is called, and His humility in spite of the powers that He had. After reading Yoga Vasistha only, all this became clear that He was also a great Self-realized soul. But before that, He was a Divine personality for us, having powers, but never showed any arrogance, ego, very wise person and had the physical strength, mental strength also, mentally very wise. So, this type of characters we definitely loved. But the actual temple you are talking happened when we were in Mysore during my college days. By then probably I was thirteen, fourteen, fifteen years old. That was where I happened to know about Swamiji also.
So, it was just in front of our house. In that temple – it was an old temple in those days – that old temple gave a beautiful atmosphere of serenity. Nobody used to be there, not even a priest also. A Ganesha temple, Swami Karthikeya temple, the Navagrahas, the nine planets temple and then Hanumanji Himself. So, all these were my best friends. I used to be talking to them. Because I used to be alone. There was nothing to feel shy. I used to talk to them; “How long I have to be like thi? You have to give me my Guru. Show me my Guru, so that I am able to find such a Guru and take a serious spiritual path from now.” Because I had no such idea of running away also.
One time, when I was twelve, thirteen years old, suddenly this thought came that I must take monkhood, sannyasa. So, then I wrote to my brother, “I will go and take up sannyasa. If a person doesn’t like the world or feels restless, there is a path. He can become a sanyasi.” That’s what I told. Then he came and spoke to me then advised, “Give me word that without convincing mother, you will not run away. She will be very shocked and hurt. If anything happens to her, it will be a wrong thing. It will be your sin. You must not do that one to your mother. Mother is such a soft, nice lady. So, that much.” So, then I promised. All this happened. That was the beginning.
Then in the next year or so, I think I happened to meet Swamiji. So, we were in the same home. So, then I used to go and contemplate about the Atman, “If I am that soul, why is that I am not aware of it? Why is that I am always aware with my name and this body as me? But there is something ‘me’. But what is that ‘me’; seems to be this only.” So, by then I used to visit the Chamundi Hills also. There a priest in the temple had shown me a small cave, that Nagatirtha. There also several days of the week I used to go there, sit for five, six hours and then come back. At that time, just before meeting Swamiji or getting initiated, I used to practice what Ramana Maharishi had said, “Keep the eyes closed and try to observe from where the ‘I’ is coming.” Because that was one query. Like, “If I am that Atman, why is that I am not aware of this. How can we find, how to do this one?” Thoughts used to come, though not very polluted, though not very violent but thoughts used to be there about “When will I find a Guru, what will happen?” So, mind used to be like this one. So, “When I go, the mother should permit me. She should not be a hindrance by unnecessary attachment to my body. You have to bless me.” Like this, I used to pray. These were the prayers. So, that was the time. That was the Hanuman temple in front of our house that you have asked me.
Every day, it was beautiful. Mornings, I spent two to three hours; I used to spend there. One used to feel so secure, serene. “You are in a secure place in the hands of a secure personality, the Divine God, Hanumanji will protect. He will show me my Guru. Just like he showed Shri Rama to Tulsidas,” I used to think also. We had read that story of Tulsidas. “He will definitely show me my Guru.” So, that was the place I used to go. Eventually, that was where I had the Divine experience of hearing about Shivabalayogi. The voice whispering in my ears when I was sitting on the bench under the tree in that temple complex only. That was where it came, “Shivabalayogi is your Guru. You will get everything from Him.” These were all the words, first time, I remember. But when I opened, I saw around, nobody was there. I wondered who is Shivabalayogi. I did not know. I had not heard any time. So, that was then when I used to visit other temples also in Mysore also. Like, Monday I used to go to Shiva temple and Raghavendra Swami temple. Like that, different temple every day, one-one temple was my main occupation, used to go.
Other than that, I used to be a normal person, for my mother. Never showed any such bhaava type of things. It was a composed performance. Sometimes I did see some movies also, war movies, anything came also. If my brother came and took me, I went with him also. So, that type of thing also happened.
The third day only, when I heard again, that was more preoccupied; mind was more preoccupied with this, that “If you go to Raghavendra Swami temple, you will know about your Guru.” This was the second time the voice whispered in my ear. But nobody was there. It was in the market. I didn’t know who. But I rushed to Raghavendra temple, and there the Bhagavat Krishna story was being told by a priest, pundit. I also sat there. I enjoyed Sri Krishna’s story, that storytelling. All old people were there, seventy, eighty, ninety year old people were sitting there. And that day only, after the story was ended, one old person came and asked me, “Have you fought with your parents? Have you run away? Why are you sitting here? We are all older people, only. Older generation people only has to go to God. So, you are very young.” I told, “Nothing, I haven’t fought with my parents. I have not run away. I will go to my home. I am just looking for this Shivabalayogi. I had a very funny, strange experience.” He was wonderstruck. He said, “Shivabalayogi is my Guru. He has an ashram in Bengaluru also.”
I wondered how come I never got to hear about Him. I was born and brought up in Kolar, which was about seventy kilometers from Bangalore, the town of Kolar. And then I came to Mysore also. I had not heard one or two years. Only then I heard, now I heard about this one. Then he took me home and gave Swamiji’s biography. So, I took that book home. I just went on seeing the pictures first and then read Swamiji’s tapas and His story also. His photos that were printed in the book was so mesmerizing, I think it had already sucked my mind into that one. That power was there, that energetic power. I could feel that in His tapas photos, different age tapas it was there.
So, I remember this was the first week of February 1971 and Sunday it was. A Sunday I took the book and read. Then Wednesday only I went to give it back to him to his home. He had shown his place. And when I went to him, he said, “Swamiji is coming to Mysore on a public darshan program, public program. You are very fortunate, you will get to see Him very quickly.” So, I said, “I would like to go with you only. I will go.” And he said, “No, it is the foothills of Chamundi. There is a Shivananda Ashram there. You go and find out, you can find. So, next day morning, I took a bicycle and went there. There was no such board of Shivananda Ashram, a small place was there. But I was so shy, I didn’t even feel like asking anybody. I simply came back after going. This might appear very funny for people. But I used to be so shy, I couldn’t even talk anything for myself. I couldn’t even ask a glass of water, such was my nature, personality. And then I came and told him, “I couldn’t find that place. I will go with you. Tomorrow morning I will come to your home. Please take me also then.” He said, “Okay, no problem. You come here. We can go together. I will take you.”
So that night was when that dream also came. Which gave the mantra, “Om Shivaya Shivabalayogendraya Parabrahmanaya.” Though in my teachings I never talk about these things, or never emphasize, because these are quite inexplicable. Difficult to answer how did it happen. Whether it was my own resolution of previous lives. But how come this, suddenly I came to know, but I did not know? Before that I had not heard, I had not known also. So, these things cannot be explained. So, the dream, there was pitch darkness there. I was standing in the queue. Somebody comes and tells me, “Swamiji is waiting for you. Why are you standing in this queue?” So, he takes me from behind the doors. Swamiji is sitting on an erected dais on a tiger skin. So Swamiji asks me, “What do you want?” Instantly, I said, “I want jnana, bhakti, vairagya.”
This could be because in Adi Shankara’s teachings, He emphasizes repeatedly about the knowledge, the devotion and detachment – jnana, bhakti, vairagya. Jnana of the Ultimate Truth, bhakti, be devoted to that truth, and detachment from the unreal world. This was the thing. That’s what I used to repeat. So that would have sat in my mind. In the dream also, the same thing came out spontaneously. “I want jnana, bhakti, vairagya.” Then Swamiji uttered this mantra, “Om Shivaya Shivabalayogendraya Parabrahmanaya”. He blessed me on the head and said, “If you chant this mantra, you will come to me very soon. It will be possible.” Then He gave me a stick in the dream, telling “You can get anything you want.” I tell “I want Swamiji.” You see, I tell “I want Swamiji.” But Swamiji tells, “If you want God…” He did not tell “If you want Swamiji, this stick is of no use.” He said, “If you want God…” That was the change of words. Swamiji and God. So, for me, it was God. Swamiji was none other than God. That’s why in my dream also, the same thing would have happened. When I told “I want Swamiji,” He said, “If you want God, this stick is of no use. This can give you only worldly things, wealth, like that one. It is of no use for you. You will not be interested.” He breaks it in the dream and throws it away. Then He sends. And then when I come out, one policeman comes, “What are you doing in the midnight here? Then Swamiji tells from inside, “Hey, he is my boy. Don’t trouble him. Let him go peacefully.” So, I just come. That was the dream.
Next day, I went with Him. And there was crowd. Crowds were doing bhajans, people were dancing. And the old man said, “Come, I will make you to sit in the bhajans. We will all sit there.” I said, “No, I want to be standing here.” Because I was curious to see when the car comes how that loincloth kaupin yogi, how will He get down? How will He walk? This curiosity was there. I said, “I want to be here, and then I will see later.” Then after some time, one hour later or so, I think Swamiji’s car came in a Chevrolet, He came. So, when the car came, He was sitting in the back seat with just a loincloth. His body was such a glow with matted hair jatas. It was it. My hundred percent mind went to Him. “This is it. This is what”.
Next to Swamiji, His mother was also sitting. Then His mother got down. So, when His mother got down, He was trying to come out. I rushed to the door of the car. Nobody stopped me. I also just rushed. Otherwise, by nature I’m shy, but that moment when I saw Him, I think that came out of me and I rushed to Him; enthusiasm or that energetic force or whatever it is. I rushed to him. And He just got down. I held His left hand. I stood left to Him. And nobody objected also. Another person was holding Swamiji on the other side. Swamiji walked very fast. I also just ran with Him. Then He just came. And in that hall, He sat on the dais that was erected for Him. I just sat next to him for a while when they were doing pada puja. They did pada puja, and they were chanting Bhagavad Gita something, Vishnu Sahasranama, I think, I remember. Some devotees were all chanting that one.
After that devotees were allowed to come and touch His feet and go out. I saw this and immediately it occurred to me, “If I touch His feet, I will be asked to go out of the door.” I didn’t want to go. Wanted to be watching Him. So, quickly, I stood next to Swamiji’s mother. Swamiji, His mother, and I stood there. All the time I was chanting, “Om Shivaya Shivabalayogendraya Parabrahmanaya”. That was repeating. Early morning, when I woke up from the dream also, already I was chanting; that became mesmerizing effect for me. That worked everything, the faith stood. I was chanting all the time, watching Swamiji only. I didn’t see any crowds. I didn’t see anybody else. Just watching Swamiji from sideways. He was with a loin cloth. He was sitting quietly and His matted hair was there, everybody touching feet and going out. Then suddenly, I heard a shouting. That old man was looking for me. “Where did you go? What happened? Come and touch and take blessings of Swamiji. You should come. Why are you standing?” I said, “That can happen later.” I just signaled him, “You please go. I will come later.”
I was not very curious to go and touch at that time, touch His feet. Because that would have made me to go out of the hall. That I didn’t want. I just wanted to watch Him. Just wanted to watch Him. That continued even after years after, always I told Swamiji just I want to watch Him. I used to be irritated if He was talking also. Later years I am telling when I came to ashram. “ Cannot He remain silent, quietly? Just want to watch Him.” So then the darshan all over. Then Swamiji stood. I quickly went and held His, this time right hand; was on the right side. He walked and He went to the car. I also went up to the car. Just before He went into the car, I touched His feet. And then He sat. He just looked at everyone. Then the car went away. So, in the article some time ago, years ago I wrote that “With that, the ‘I’ was gone.” So that was the experience of meeting Swamiji, Hanuman temple briefly.
Question: Thank You, Babaji. After waiting for those three years, Babaji, You wrote to try and enter Swamiji’s service. Could Babaji please speak about that, How He came to write and how He came to enter Swamiji’s service, please?
Babaji Maharaj: Well after my mother said, “If you wait for three years, finish your education.” So, in those three years with her permission, I used to go to Bangalore Ashram, Bannerghatta road Ashram during functions. One was His birthday on 24th January, another used to be on 7th August, His tapas completion day. In those days, after the havan, annadhaanam will be there, mass feeding would be served, used to have food, then everybody were allowed to do His darshan. Devotees were allowed to enter through one door. They could touch His feet and come out with the other door. As much as possible, I used to go quickly and sit there. So, then I used to get the entry. Before reaching His feet, I used to be just watching Him and didn’t notice any of the people standing in the queue. Mechanically, I just went, touched His feet. When touching, I used to put my in-between eyebrows onto his toe finger. That was a great blessing for me as far as I was concerned. Then come out again, join in the queue. Like that four, five hours. So many times I used to just stand in the queue, come inside, touch His feet, come out again, again join the queue, come in, have His darshan; like that. That used to happen. Then I used to return to Mysore. Those three years were there.
Finally, 1974 came. Brother was worried what I will do. I didn’t want to continue any further [studies], I didn’t want to go for any work. I used to talk to my mother. My mother perhaps would have spoken to him, “His tendencies are different. He may not work. He may not be in the samsara.” That was the first time perhaps she would have come to know or noticed. She would have spoken to brother also, “He may not stay at home.” Every time my brother used to come, he used to make fun of me, “Every time I came I thought he would have gone to some ashram and would come to see me only. But not yet happened.” Finally, that happened in 1974. My brother wanted to take my mother with him. He was posted in a town near Banaras, Kashi, pilgrimage town. So, my other brother had completed education. He was getting a job in Bangalore. So then he wanted me also to go with him. So, I thought once I go with him to that place, then I may lose my path. I may not get in touch with Swamiji.
That year Swamiji stayed in Dehradun only for 7th August. First I thought, I will have His darshan on 7th August and let the fate decide whatever has to happen. I will go with my mother and I will see what happens. Didn’t know anything. But it didn’t give me any stress of what’s going to happen. I just used to think, “Let the nature, faith decide what’s going to happen.” Then I came to know from Bangalore, a letter came that Swamiji was not coming to Bangalore for 7th August function. He was going to stay in this Dehradun ashram where now I am sitting, the same place. So, it is now more than 52 years. And I felt very bad about it. Then I thought, I went to Chamundi Hills, sat for some meditation in the Nagatirtha. And then went to temple also. Then this thing came and I bought an inland letter. There is a post office on the Chamundi Hills also. I took it and there and then I wrote down this letter to Swamiji, “My brother wants me to go with him, but I am not at all interested to be in this world. I want to come and serve You either in Adivarapupeta or in Bangalore. I want to know myself.” So, that is all I wrote to Swamiji.
That was also, you see, the result we did not know whether Swamiji will say to come. Because before that in those three years, another thing. Every month, I used to write a letter that I want to know myself, I want to know these spiritual truths, what is the Divinity, Divine actually, all these things. But I never used to write my address or my name also. But the faith was there; “Once this reaches, that grace will come to me. I will get connected to Him”. Like that I used to post. So, naturally, outside no reply used to come. Because there was no address or my name; nothing was there. So, no reply used to come from Bangalore Ashram. So, this went on for three years. So, last, finally, I wrote my home address also in Mysore, my name also I wrote, “I want to come and serve either in Bangalore Ashram or Adivarapupeta Ashram.” So, within ten days or twelve days, the reply came. A devotee of Swamiji was here with Him. He wrote on behalf of Swamiji, telling, “You can come and stay in the Dehradun Ashram. If you like, this place is very ideal for your sadhana also. What you have written, you can look after this. You can come here if you like. So, Swamiji will be coming to Bangalore very soon. You come and meet him. Then you will be sent here.”
So, that was how that letter was written. And the reply also came. When the reply came, then I showed it to my mother. She smiled and said, “I knew. Quietly, you keep doing all this. I think now the time has come. Now that Swamiji has called you that you can go to Him, I will bless you. Three years is also over,” she remembered. “But you promise that you will not run away from this path. You should not get attracted to any worldly path, must not come back also.” Alone, I was alone with my mother. “Unless Swamiji Himself doesn’t kick me away, I will not run away from ashram. Come what, may. I will go through it. I will never regret, whatever happens, humiliation, any work I have to do, I will never expect what I am supposed to do. I will never think what I am going to do. Whatever Swamiji wants me to do, I will just do it.” Like that I said, then she agreed. My sister-in-law came and she came to know, she started crying, “O, what has happened?” Because they all came to know only that time. Until then, it was a total secret, only between me and my mother. Nobody knew. She had not told anybody also. She didn’t want to tell until it doesn’t take a concrete shape. That’s what she used to tell. So, nobody, no other relatives, my sister’s home, nobody knew. Then my brother also came. Then my mother told him, “This is it. He is going to ashram.” Then other relatives were all told. That was how I came to the Dehradun. This was in 1974. Today it is 2026. Time passes by. See, I was just then twenty year-old boy, today a seventy two year-old old man – this body, as far as this body is concerned.
Question: Thank You, Baba. There are so many beautiful stories. And we’ve only got to the point where Babaji joins Swamiji’s ashram. I was wondering if we might take the rest of Babaji’s life story in another session. If people wanted to ask Baba any questions.
Babaji Maharaj: Yeah, okay, wonderful. It gave me a wonderful opportunity to me also to express what happened. I tried to be brief so that we don’t go very long.
Question: Namaskaaram Babaji, I’m very blessed for this opportunity. I have three questions, Babaji. So, I have been here before but due to some personal things I could not join regularly. So Babaji, the first question is, like as I said before, I was indirectly associated with ISKON, and I used to chant the ‘Hare Krishna’ mantra. So, I used to hear the teachings there that the Brahman realization is incomplete and that there is a loka where the Lord is where going there is a more complete realization. So Babaji, I’ve always wondered if that is like a fear mongering or something like that.
Babaji Maharaj: Let me answer this question, then we can go to other. This is a total myth. God realization – that is not the thing. The Divine is all pervaded, everybody talks. And there is no such one loka where you have to enter, where God is sitting. These are all symbolically spoken, have become mythical things which can give a fearful imagination for people. Definitely nothing. Simple language; your mind is full of thoughts and visions now, millions of thoughts. That’s what Ramana Maharishi said, “Mind is a bundle of thoughts.” But mind itself is the combination of infinite energy and consciousness. Hardly anybody bothers about mind itself. Everybody knows they have a mind, but what is that mind, nobody knows. Naked eyes, nobody has seen.
To naked eyes, it would appear like space, empty space. But the day when through the meditation, if you can clear all thoughts and visions, how it will go? If you just watch in between eyebrows. The technique that we teach is one of the most ancient techniques of India; in Rigvedic era the sages practiced this and achieved nirvikalpa samadhi and Self-realization. Thus, all thoughts and visions go, what remains is the consciousness of existence. That is infinite. And then as you go on watching that, focus, then your mind gets absorbed into that Self. That is infinite, as infinite as the mind itself is.
So, this is what the Self-realization means – the mind settling into its origin, the Divinity. This Ultimate Truth of the mind is recognized as Divine. The Divine is both niraakaar and saakaar. In saakaar, so many forms are there, Rama, Krishna, Shiva; all forms are same. Different names, one God. So that’s what you have to know. So, there is no such loka that you have to enter. Do not imagine about this. You have to purify your mind is what is necessary.
Same Questioner: Thanks a lot Babaji. For the last few years, there is the fear of rebirth in the world. And that in my mind, whatever I try, even if I try to ignore it, in my mind there is always a voice that says, “Don’t come back here. It should be your last time.” Is that also a symptom of our imagination, Babaji? But I can tell in my heart I really feel that. So how to get over that Babaji?
Babaji Maharaj: Now pay attention and listen. Praying for that is good. Nothing wrong. Every day you pray to the Divine. You don’t imagine what the Divine is, but pray to the Divine that this should be your last birth, “Help me, bless me, grace upon me that I attain total liberation once for all. Not to be reborn.” Now, how the birth-rebirth happens. When brain dies, that’s what medically one is called that “He has passed away, has died.” But before that, the mind spins very fast and strongly. If it is holding any desires, any thoughts, then based on those thoughts and desires of which forms intensifies, then it assumes next birth. That is how like this birth happened. So, this is how the rebirth happens.
So, the satsanga or spirituality is taught so that when this body is available, if you can make your mind as nonviolent as possible. Even if you have to be born, it will be elevated that you will have the spiritual inclination, want to do tapas, and thus you can get liberated. Otherwise, if you can clear your mind of all thoughts by practicing this meditation – silencing the mind is important – at the time when the brain dies, when death happens, if the mind is silent it will merge with the Ultimate Truth and it will not have a rebirth.
This is technologically, scientifically how it will happen, how the Rig Veda’s Upanishads, like Ashtavakra Samhita, Yoga Vasistha, they all have spoken all this. If you read those scriptures, it will be more convincing for you. Yoga Vasistha; Vasistha’s upadesha to Rama about yoga is the Yoga Vasistha, and the English version is published by Divine Life Society, written by Swami Venkateshwarananda, ‘Supreme Yoga. And Ashtavakra Samhita is also there, and I have written commentary on Ashtavakra Samhita, so if you go to our website, how to buy that book will be there, possible.
So, these are some of the beautiful scriptures which can give you an insight about the truth, how the sages taught in Upanishads. Katopanishad is also very good for these things, right? So, then if you practice that silencing the mind, you can get rid of being reborn.
Same Questioner: Thank You, Babaji. So, Babaji, looking at Your tapas and Shivabalayogi Maharaj’s tapas, both of Your tapas makes me very nervous. Babaji did twenty hours for five years, and Swamiji did twenty three hours for seven years, and more than that. So, when I look at Your tapas, it’s like a very, very rarest tapas in the current Kaliyuga time. So, Babaji, my doubt is that if we all want Self-realization, at some point should we also do that kind of tapasya like You and Maharaj did?
Babaji Maharaj: You see, first important [point]; silencing the mind I told, right? To silence the mind, long-time practices has to happen. That is what is known as tapas. Meditation’s highest pitch is tapas. Okay, now, in one go you don’t have to wildly imagine about tapas, then you will become nervous, whether it will be possible. It is just like, step by step if you go, one day you can go on top of the mountain. Standing on the ground, if you see on top of the mountain, you might become nervous, “How will I climb and go to the top of the mountain?” Always step by step.
Like, half an hour you practice meditation, then one hour. In this one hour, it means perfectly the body should be able to sit stationary, unmoved; practice like that. Then in that one hour, watch in-between eyebrows, closing the eyes, and try not to get involved with the thoughts. Even if thoughts come, you don’t call it either good or bad, right or wrong, and don’t expect any vision, any form of God also, just watch. Then eventually, in due course of time, mind will become silent. One day, you will be able to do.
See, Bhagavad Gita also assures, for some reason when you are doing sadhana like this, if death happens, from next life, from very early childhood itself you will have a strong inclination for Self-realization, and you will be able to do tapas also, that will take you there. It is guaranteed; a button is pressed how the soul will go back. So, all you need, that you have that yearning, you want that one, keep praying every day, and try to practice some amount of meditation every day. It will happen one day, right?
Same Questioner: Very grateful to You.
Question: Namaste Babaji. Suppose in a dream one sees either Swamiji or Babaji, and observes some gestures, or some message, or information or exchange of some talk, how does one have to look at it?
Babaji Maharaj: If it is spiritual, which can take you towards the spiritual truth,…
Same Questioner: Yes.
Babaji Maharaj: … that is what you can consider as sensible, and then if the dream the strong, potency is there, it will transform you and you will go for that one. You will try to do that one. That’s what, any vision, or any such experiences, if it is very, really strong, then that induces the person, like it happened to me, and I jumped into it. So, that’s what you have to take the cue. If you can do that one, you have to try to go towards the spiritual truth. Such is the recommended thing.
Same Questioner: Thank You, Babaji.
Question: Pranaams Babaji. So, several years ago, I asked You something similar, and I’ve been thinking about it ever since, because it was very profound to me, and I think I have a bit more of an understanding about it now, but I’d like to ask You again; when You speak these beautiful recollections about Your path, and when You were a young boy and a young man, and before You did tapas, when You think of these now, because Your ego has been dissolved, what kind of association is there with those memories? You once told me that they were like a distant dream, like there was nothing there. So, is it kind of like a character?
Babaji Maharaj: Because when somebody reminds, and the question is asked, so these are all recorded in the brain also, the memory. Simply I am purified and I don’t go into any such things. When it is asked, you have to open the folder, the mind needs to get applied to the brain; you can recollect what happened. Because they were such strong, impressive impact creating experiences for me, which transformed my life. I left behind my beautiful home and came to the Master, never looked back, staying in celibacy, and staying at the ashram, forbearing all humiliation, anything that came across, whatever the Master wanted, just doing is not easy. Many people we have seen, they come, they stay for a few years and then they go away; they cannot sustain themselves. So, that has sustained me.
Same Questioner: Okay, so the images still come to the mind’s eye, right, when you recall these things?
Babaji Maharaj: No, when I tap the brain, the brain reproduces, brain decodifies and reproduces that picture. But here, now, the mind will not become a victim to register it as a reality. The reality has been seen.
Question: During Babaji’s five-year tapas, I want to know whether Babaji sat cross-legged for the entire duration or straightened out the legs at all? Did Babaji sit in one posture only?
Babaji Maharaj: Yeah, in those days, I didn’t do it. I just was absorbed in the samadhi. Age was still young, I could do that one.
Same Questioner: Like in the beginning, when I was eighteen and in the beginning of my mental illness, so, like my mummy side, Hanumanji is prayed to, and my papa side Mata Rani is prayed. But I would receive a phone call, and when I would go and receive the phone call. I would heard the voice of, “Naa – Raa – Yana” and it would happen four or five times. And really, it was very heavenly voice. So, what was that?
Babaji Maharaj: You see, I will tell you now, you are my sister. If it was a real strong potency, transformation would happened in your life. You won’t have been an ordinary householder like this. You would have gone for the spiritual heights, if it was so strong; that is the necessary thing. The transformation has not occurred means it was within the illusion that is happening. When your mind imagines, it resolves, it gets to see. The more you try to do that one, if it strongly comes, then the transformation happens.
Question: Babaji, in Your story, You had been enamored for seeking a Guru. I just wanted to understand why did you seek out Guru, not God? Was there any background to that? Were there any family Gurus?
Babaji Maharaj: Very good question. You know, first time I heard about a Guru from my mother. She said, “You see, if you annoy God, a Guru can protect you. But if you annoy the Guru, no God can protect you.” I was a very small child. It sat into the mind that an impact happened. Then we read a book also about the Guru and His greatness, how the Guru can protect if you have faith. Then faith and devotion, probably like that only it just sat.
Same Questioner: Thank You.
Question: Thank You, Babaji. What is the difference between merging and a devotee? So, it seems like some people want to be a devotee, and they don’t want to merge and all that.
Babaji Maharaj: Devotee still imagines himself to be a droplet, and he keeps the ocean as his God. That is how the duality is there, in imagination. So, that is up to a choice of a person, that is the devotee and the Divine. A yogi merges, loses His identity totally, His existence, everything totally. Only the Divine will be there. That is the yogi.
Same Questioner: Why would anyone want to be a devotee?
Babaji Maharaj: It’s up to their choice. You have to ask the one who wants to be a devotee.
Same Questioner: And Babaji just one more thing. The meditation You have taught. So, when I read about things, there is a caution that people impure like me, if they try to do the meditation, it will not be safe. Because any time eyeballs start to move with the center, things like that start to happen. It is not safe for someone, as impure as we are, or I am.
Babaji Maharaj: Not necessarily. These are myths unnecessarily created. You are trying to overcome the impurity; for that you would have to do meditation. So, when you do meditation, you pray to God. God is like a mother, compassionate. So, no unsafe thing will happen. Simply you have to follow the right technique. In a simple way, don’t be harsh on yourself. Don’t rush. That’s what we try to teach. Just be gentle to yourself, gently close the eyes. And gently keep watching. Nothing will happen. Because initially, the eyeballs will trouble. Because it moves parallelly, it doesn’t stay into one direction. But steadily if you practice watching; let it be anywhere, don’t bother to locate the central point also. Just in front of you keep watching. When you are watching, apply willpower. Gently with all the patience, then slowly in due course of time the eyeballs will come to the center, then meditation will progress. No such unsafe things happen. You don’t have to rush, that is all. Take care.
That’s why I always tell, “Sit in any comfortable posture. Keeping back and neck straight, gently close your eyes. And gently watch in between eyebrows.” That means you have to exercise patience. Don’t be in a rush that Self-realization happens tonight itself. Since time immemorial mind has gone out of control; it will take some time. Let it take its own time. Don’t bother about the time passing also. You just go on doing it; one day you will become an expert. Don’t worry.
Question: Namaste Babaji. My question is, during meditation, how to go beyond the witness, the observer?
Babaji Maharaj: Yeah, it will happen. You just keep watching, then that duality of the watching and the watched thing, both disappear, the seen and seer. One day it will happen. For that, you have to quieten the mind first. Silencing the mind is important. For that only you have to just keep watching without getting involved into the thoughts. Then it will happen one day, right?
Same Questioner: Thank You.
Babaji Maharaj: Keep going.
Question: Pranaams Babaji. My past mistakes and guilt, how do I overcome that during meditation? I feel that is affecting my meditation as past sins and guilt.
Babaji Maharaj: One important thing, the past is over. It will not come back under any circumstances. The past is meant that you just do not repeat such mistakes, you learn. Instead, if you feel guilty, it will spoil your mental health, which is not necessary. Don’t feel guilty at all. It’s over. Brush aside, “I’m not going to do anything in future.” Look after the future. Future is in front of you. If you plan in the present by meditating, whatever has happened, it has happened. Something happened; why, you don’t know. Pray to God, “Please purify me.” It’s all over. Don’t worry about that. Don’t feel guilty too much. Instead, meditate. Whenever such thoughts come, you try to think about good things of the life, that you want to achieve Self-realization, you want to know about the Divine; all these things you try to divert your attention. Then it will be all right one day. Don’t worry.
Question: Morning Babaji. I want to ask you a bit about Swamiji’s Master. Did He speak to You about Him? Or did Swamiji have something similar to Your experience as well?
Babaji Maharaj: Yeah, you see, Swamiji considered Lord Shiva as His Master. When He was trying to squeeze out juice from a fruit, that took shape of a Shivalinga. And from that, a Jangama Sage appeared. He initiated Swamiji into tapas in 1949. After twelve years, Swamiji came to know that was none other than Lord Shiva who had come in that form. So, He considered Shiva as His Guru.
Some very nice questions came. All the best to all of you.
End of Session
